Do you struggle with touch?

If you’re Highly Sensitive and touch feels off – you flinch, freeze, or pull away – you’re not broken.
You’re not “too much.” You are just different. And you’re definitely not alone.

The real issue? You’ve been touched with pressure, not presence.
Even loving partners can unknowingly make your body brace instead of softening.

This isn’t your fault.
Most of us were never shown how to ask for or give the kind of touch a sensitive body trusts. You learned to survive – not to receive.

My Solution – what I suggest instead is that Highly Sensitive couples learn to lean into the difference to experience an amazing connection.

Doing this turns confusion into feeling joined at the hip forever.

You know what, let’s begin by me telling you about Louisa.

Louisa didn’t know the problem wasn’t touch itself, but rather the pressure behind it

When I first met Louisa, she really had a problem. She was still reeling from a situation years ago where her husband’s hands had made her flinch, though she loved him deeply. Every time he reached for her, she felt pressure – like the only reason he touched her was to get sex. Not to connect. Not to see her. So, for ten long and lonely years, she shut down, over and over. Eventually, he gave up because he had no idea how to be with anymore.

She felt like it was Groundhog Day because it felt like she was heading down the same path with her new partner.

On our first call together, Louisa realised that she had never learned to recognize and ask for the kind of touch her body was wired for.  She immediately went to work on listening to her nervous system and after only six weeks she named what kind of touch she wanted.

She knows how to guide her partner with clarity and softness. They both enjoy the deepest connection of their entire lives, and this at 62 years old. And he – after years of feeling like a failure – feels like her hero. They wake up and feel so connected and never lose this connection throughout the day and at night they pick it up again easily. They both feel invigorated and happier than ever before.

Bruce didn’t know that he wasn’t a bad lover, he just never learned the right language

Highly Sensitive men often carry shame around touch – either they’ve been too intense, or not enough. They fear being “too much,” too needy, or sexually selfish. Many grew up without models of attuned masculine tenderness, so they either overdo or shut down, longing to connect but terrified they’re crossing a line.

For men like Bruce, the answer isn’t in trying harder or pulling back – it’s in learning how to show up with grounded presence. No pressure. No agenda. Just being fully there, in your body, with your hand on her back or her cheek, without asking for anything in return. That kind of touch rewires everything. It says, “I’m here, and I see you,” louder than words ever could. 

When I first met Bruce he told me that he and his wife still loved each other but hadn’t had meaningful physical connection in over five. He had stopped initiating altogether. “She just tenses up,” he told me. “So, I gave up. I didn’t want to be another man pushing for sex,” he told me. He felt like a failure, unwanted and ashamed.

In our first session, Bruce admitted he had no idea how to touch without needing something back. He thought backing off was the respectful thing to do—but it only deepened the silence between them. He then realized that he was waiting to be given permission—instead of learning how to offer touch in a way that created safety.    

Over six weeks, Bruce learned how stay present in his own body. He practiced a life changing way of touch that brought his innate ability to feel and not perform. This changed everything for him and his wife. His wife started reaching for him. Now, they have a nightly 10-minute touch ritual, no pressure, no sex agenda, just connection. It feels as natural as brushing their teeth before bed. Bruce feels like a new man: not less masculine, but more powerful, more tender, and finally seen.

Conclusion

You’re not broken. You just haven’t been touched in the way your body understands.

If you saw yourself in Louisa or Bruce, know this: your sensitivity isn’t the problem. It’s the path. Most Highly Sensitive people were never taught how to ask for the kind of touch that settles the nervous system, not triggers it. You’ve learned today that safety and presence completely transform how intimacy feels. You don’t have to keep guessing or shrinking. The change you crave is possible and it doesn’t take forever. It takes willingness, guidance, and a new kind of conversation between your body and your partner’s.

I guide Highly Sensitive couples to rewrite their touch language so it feels safe and mutual. We can shift you from avoidance and confusion to clarity and deep connection in way shorter time than you hoped was possible. No pressure or scripts. Just presence and the tools your nervous system already has.

Ready to feel seen, safe, and desired? Let’s begin with a gentle touch consultation. You can reach me on +49 160 128 8334 on Whatsapp.